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divorce 2

Question I was asked: Assalam alaikum, say after the second divorce you are in your waiting period and your husband decides he’s taking you back and wants to work on your marriage but you don’t want to, then what do you do? Also, can you explain the following hadith pls. What if the couple are not compatible and are always arguing etc, neither are happy and woman suffers from depression because of all that goes on in their marriage. Can she ask for a divorce?? What is a good enough reason according to shariah for the woman to ask for a divorce?

Answer: If you are in the second divorce and you are in your waiting period, and your husband decides to take you back. In this time, it’s not dependent on your consent. Unless, there was harm, which she can prove to the judge. If the judge studying the case sees them as good reasons, then the judge will either approve or reject the divorce request based on the reason. But that does not mean she has no choice, since she can go for khulu’ and not divorce in this case. Khulu’s simply means that she is the one initiating the end of marriage and is compensating the husband for ending the marriage by giving him back the dowry that he had given her, and even giving up on paying her alimony.

As for the hadith “If a woman asks her husband for a divorce, for no reason, then the smell of paradise is forbidden for her” narrated by Tirmithee 1187, Abu Dawood 2226, Ibn Majah 2055) . Scholars actually had different opinions on the authenticity of this hadith. Although Al-Tirmithee had mentioned that it was Hassan, other scholars like Al-Albani in his (Sahih Abu Dawood) and Al-Arnaoot have said that it was authentic. Some scholars regarded this “comment” on the hadith as being too easy and regarded the hadith as معلول a type of weak hadith.

So, what stands as a good reason for requesting a divorce? A lot of it depends on the culture, personal and marital stability in defining harm. Although Islam encourages patience, but the hadith that says that the most hated halal is divorce is actually not authentic. Not to say that Islam encourages divorce, but when we speak of people’s rights and their personal view of wanting to stay or leave the marriage it is mainly left for them to decide.

Every woman has her case and perception of what she wants in a husband and life. And every man has his as well. If they do not find what they wanted, they are not forced to accept something they cannot handle. Which is explained in the hadith narrated by Bukhari in his Sahih no. 4867. When the lady came to the prophet peace be upon him complaining to the prophet that she does not complain of her husband not in his manners, nor his piety, but was worried that she will be in the level of a non-believer for not fulfilling her husband’s needs because she couldn’t “handle him”. Some hadiths say that it was his looks that she hated. The prophet peace be upon him then asked her to return the garden to him, which was the dowry that was given to her and leave the marriage. And that is the main hadith on Khulu’ خُلُع.

How far can the reasons go and what stands for a good reason are matters that are discussed in the books of fiqh (Islamic Jurisprudence). Although many reasons really had no direct evidences on them, but Islam gave men and women the right to decide what they want or don’t want in a marriage, and does not force any woman or man to stay in a marriage that they do not want.

Some of the reasons that the books of fiqh had discusses were: religious reasons such as leaving prayer or drinking, other reasons include violence, financial status, sexual or physical disabilities, bad breath, and bad manners such as always being angry or using illicit or offensive language…. Some of the issues modern scholars discussed were: smoking, educational gaps, changing countries, details of certain psychological disorders …and many other reasons which are considered as demands that make up a happy, stable, and successful marriage.

Now, many men and women may misunderstand my words and start requesting for divorce for trivial matters, and hurry in describing their marriage as not “working out”, especially those that are in their first year of marriage. Unfortunately many fall for the word “honey moon” not knowing the reality that the first two years of marriage are really the toughest years of marriage, in where the couple are still getting to know each other and has nothing to do with “honey” or “moon”.

Remember even if scholars differed in the level of authenticity of the hadith mentioned about divorce. Islam in general has forbid harm, acting irresponsibly and destruction. Divorce is not an easy thing to go for, especially when children are involved. The couple is obligated to do their utmost to prevent the destruction of the marriage and be patient. It may take time, and lots of self-restraint or jihad. Which is why, before considering divorce finding ways to make the marriage work out is the couple’s responsibility. If the couple failed to find a solution or ways of reconciliation, the community takes responsibility in making institutions that help resolve these cases as counselors or marriage therapists trained in Islamic law and family issues. Something the Muslim communities in the west must work on. The Muslim community’s responsibility is not just in building masjids, but is also in starting institutions that make a healthy Muslim individual and community, which includes institutions that solve marital problems and even do pre-martial training classes or even match making.

Written by Shaykha Aysha Wazwaz

PhD candidate in Islamic Studies/ Jinan University

M.A Contemporary Islamic Studies/ Alquds University

B.A Islamic Jurisprudence fiqh/ Alquds University


divorce

Question: My husband divorced me for the first time, I personally was so hurt I just left the house and started my (‘ida) waiting period in my family’s house.  He insisted that I would come back to him, but I refused. What is the ruling on it?

And can you please explain divorce in Islam for me?

Answer: I ask Allah Almighty to bless your marriage and bring in love and mercy between you. Let me first explain divorce in Islam, if a man divorces his wife, they have two chances before the final divorce unless they agree to go for “khulu’” by her compensating for the separation. During the first and second divorce, she is considered married throughout her waiting period “idda”. Her waiting period is counted based on the following: if she is pregnant her waiting period lasts until she delivers the baby. If she is not pregnant and still menstruates, then she waits until she finishes three menstrual cycles. If she does not menstruate then her waiting period “idda” would be for 3 consecutive months. During the waiting period, the couple are still considered married. She lives her life normally, and is not even required to wear her hijab in front of her husband. The wife has the right to live in the home as she used to, and he must pay for everything (i.e. all expenses) just as he was doing before the divorce. If the husband decides to return his wife during the waiting period, she is still his wife and the marriage is still taking place, separation is not dependant on her yet and she must come back to her husband, unless she proves some kind of harm from the husband to the judge (imam, or scholar in charge of leading the Muslim community in these matters). The harm maybe physical, financial, moral…etc. in that case the judge himself, after looking into the case may consummate a divorce or khulu’ from one side.

In order to return his wife and come back to the marriage, he must verbally announce bringing his wife back or practically return her with the intention of going back to the marriage. He is advised to have someone witness this return announcement in order to keep both couple’s rights in place in case of any dispute.

See (2: 228-229): “And divorced women shall wait (as regards their marriage) for three menstrual periods, and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allâh has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allâh and the Last Day. And their husbands have the better right to take them back in that period, if they wish for reconciliation. And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allâh is All-Mighty, All-Wise. (228) The divorce is twice, after that, either you retain her on reasonable terms or release her with kindness.”

If the waiting period ends, whether after the first or second divorce, and the husband had not returned his wife still, then they both must separate and not be in the same house alone, and are not lawful to each other not in any way, which also means she must wear the hijab in front of him as any Muslim woman must dress in front of any non-mahram man. She deals with him just as she deals and dresses in front of any non mahram man. In this case, he cannot come back to her unless he makes a new marriage contract with new dowry upon her consent.  Then, if a third divorce takes place, he may never come back to her even during her waiting period unless she marries someone else, after the completion of her waiting period of course. During this waiting period she does not have the right for alimony and he is not required to pay for her expenses. As for marrying someone else that must be done without prior agreement with the new husband what so ever. The new marriage is not just a marriage contract, but a complete husband and wife relation that ended in divorce with the completion of her waiting period. After that she may come back to her old husband with a new marriage contract, new dowry, and new wedding. The  three chances of divorce restart again.

Based on the previously mentioned explanation on divorce,  I would like to tell you sister, that a Muslim woman should not leave the house without her husband’s permission, in fact Allah Almighty called it “your house” as in (65:1).  It is the same ayah that talked about women’s rights in case of divorce. Leaving the house may actually increase the gap between the husband and wife rather than decrease it. Allah Almighty says (Quran translation 65:1)

“O Prophet (SAW)! When you divorce women, divorce them at their ‘Iddah (prescribed periods), and count (accurately) their ‘Iddah (periods). And fear Allâh your Lord (O Muslims), and turn them not out of their homes, nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in case they are guilty of some open illegal sexual intercourse. And those are the set limits of Allâh. And whosoever transgresses the set limits of Allâh, then indeed he has wronged himself. You (the one who divorces his wife) know not, it may be that Allâh will afterward bring some new thing to pass (i.e. to return her back to you if that was the first or second divorce).

This ayah clearly states that a woman must not leave the house without the husband’s permission unless in case of an emergency or other necessary reasons, or if he normally doesn’t mind.

Therefore, live by the guidance of Allah Almighty and ask Allah Almighty for forgiveness for He knows what is best for you, as He has set your rights and responsibilities to guide and enlighten you.


concept of spirituality

Understanding spiritual therapy in Islam

 

Spirituality has become a hot topic that many in the west are discussing, probably even more than eastern countries. Even though it may seem the opposite, since many eastern countries live in different spiritualties, even if they didn’t speak about it. Many philosophers, religions, cults, etc. try to explain the connections that relate our body, mind and spirit to this life and God Almighty. On the other side of this, stands the postmodern philosophy which considers life to be nothing but mere nonsense, and, therefore, religions as old fashion or compiled myths. Postmodernism is enforcing new standards and a completely new life system that concentrates on entertainment, body pleasures and shallow personal benefit.

But man is man, whether from the East or West, and no matter the modernity surrounding him. He is still the same man that was created, with the same pure innate instinct which Islam calls fitra.

Fitra is the pure physical and spiritual instinct God Almighty created us in.  Going against the fitra, actually means going against the system that God Almighty created in you, and therefore causing unbalance in your physical, psychological and spiritual life and your relationship to God Almighty.

Most philosophies and religions consider that body and soul develop at each other’s expense. Therefore, they consider that spirituality can only be obtained by denying the physical needs and mortification of the flesh, and that world activity or modern life arrests spiritual elevation. The result of this was people seeking spirituality by denying their physical needs, family needs, community needs and participation in developing their community.

 

 

On the other side of this philosophy are people racing to find pleasures in any way possible, even if it contradicts the pure fitra they were created in. It even went so far as comparing himself with animals rather than being noble humans that are gifted with mind and other abilities. For this group, pleasure was made as a goal, whether that was wealth, fame, ownership, sex, etc.

 

The concept of spirituality in Islam compared to spirituality in other religions and ideologies

 

Islam’s concept of spirituality goes beyond the dualism of spirit and matter and considers it as the core concept of being Muslim and the reason of life. It is of high importance to not detach or   distance spirituality from the fundamental ontological questions: how did we come to this world, and why, and where we are going? Spirituality should be part of the answer to these questions. It should not be a short way to run away from these questions or from personal trouble. It should be in the core of our understanding of this life and what comes after it.

 

 

 

Spirituality is within you

Prophet Mohammad peace be upon him said: “every new born is born with a pure state of creation (fitra) (i.e. feeling the existence of a supreme being behind life, and feeling that there is something behind this life), but his parents make a Jew, or make him a Christian, or make him a Zoroastrian.” Narrated by Muslim, hadith no. 2568, (Also, see Quran 7: 172)

Your environment has its impact in shaping your perception about life and the understanding of God, but everyone has the instinct (fitra) deep inside themselves that makes him question the reason to life, death and what’s behind this creation. These are questions that prophets and Messengers were sent to reveal to us the answers.  Man’s powers are limited to find deep explanations beyond what he hears, sees and feels. Science has explained to us how some of things around us function, but not why they were made to function that way, and it can never also explain who made them function that way. Science concludes that this world is so complex that there is no way it can form and create itself. As our mind has discovered that zero plus zero never equals but zero. Our mind is the core of the combination of understanding life and God Almighty, which is why Quran is always speaking to man’s mind and asking him to think about the complexity of the different creations around him, and how it can never be formed on its own, but by a Magnificent creator.

 

Beware of life pacifiers

Although man has the fitra to question his existence to relate to his reality and the reality of life, he also has the capability (called nafs) of pacifying himself away from his fitra demands. Pacifiers act as entertainments, which man finds temporary pleasure in, such as money, friends, music, sexuality, looks, children, and the list goes on and on…

 

Man is a vicegerent in this world, and was created in the best way for the fulfillment of this responsibility. The body was created with a sole object (i.e. the soul/ spirit) in order to function for the fulfillment of this responsibility. The body does not function without the soul, and the path for the soul development is in both soul and body.

 

 

Islam and Asceticism

Islam rejects living away from your responsibilities and proposes methods for elevating your spirituality, not outside this world but within life and your responsibilities.

 

Understanding spirituality in Islam (tazkiya)

Perceptions of life and its surroundings (faith) along with intentions determine your heart’s action. Your body and mind only react to your heart’s action. This makes spirituality inseparable from how you perceive the world around you, and later how you act in it, and towards it.

In order to gain spirituality, Islam focuses on the heart and ones’ understanding of this world, and considers that God Almighty is the One behind this life, and that He had created man to worship Him alone. Worship in Islam, is a comprehensive word to mean more than ritual, and includes acting upon God Almighty’s standards. His standards are to preserve the fitra (pure natural creation)  from going astray, or becoming a victim to world pacifiers to gain close relations to God Almighty.

 

 

What is to be attained through spirituality?

Through spirituality, success can be achieved in this life, by balancing the different needs, which God Almighty set the standards for, so that we may preserve a healthy life.  Spirituality also leads to sucess in the hereafter with the reward of paradise.  In the Quran, Allah Almighty says (Translated 79:40-41): “As for he who fears the standing before His Lord and prevents his nafs (lust and inner motive for going after temporary pleasure) from fulfilling its desire, paradise is his abode”.

 

 

What is the criterion for spiritual development?

Every Muslim must use all of his capacities for the sake of God Almighty, and fulfill all duties with sincerity and obedience to Him alone by doing things as He had ordered, in the manner that He had ordered it to be done.

Spiritual actions are not separated from materialistic or physical actions, but are connected to each other. So your actions affect your spirituality, and your spirituality affects your life and psychological balance, such as your happiness, tranquility and inner peace. To attain inner peace (Islam), one must do jihad of the nafs (control his lust and inner motives) from enslaving him, in order to submit to God Almighty alone (Islam).  This is where the name Islam comes from, that is: attaining inner peace by submitting to God Almighty alone.

 

Islam sets pathways for attaining spiritual development and calls spiritual denouncers as sins, and the obligatory things as spiritual elevators. It must be noted that spiritual elevators are affected by spiritual refrainment. Therefore, one may find spiritual elevators as hard to apply if he has not worked on his spiritual refrainments. And since prevention is better than remedy, Islam orders Muslims to consider spiritual denouncers before considering spiritual elevators.  The prophet (peace be upon him) said, “If I order you to leave something, then stay away from it, and do as much as you can of what I ordered you to do”, narrated by Bukhari (7288) and Muslim (1337).

 

Spiritual denouncers

 Spiritual denouncers, and addiction to them, have different capacities to damage the heart. The larger the damage it causes to one’s personal or community spirituality, the stronger Islam’s stance is in ordering one to abstain from it. The stronger the addiction if one were to commit it, the stronger of a spiritual denouncer it is. The scale of forbiddance is based on the strength of that spiritual denouncer.  The stronger that spiritual denouncer and the longer time one spent committing it, the more spiritual effort (jihad of the nafs) is required.

 

The scale of major spiritual denouncers (major sins):

-          Harming the community’s spirituality is considered a larger spiritual denouncer than the individual’s. Making the worst spiritual denouncers are those that harm the communities or the individual’s: faith, life, mind, chastity and wealth.

  • Harming in faith by bringing confusion to people’s faith and trust in God Almighty
  • Harming in life by killing or threatening to kill.
  • Harming in mind by intoxicating it through alcohol, drinking or drugs
  • Harming in chastity by rape, adultery, fornication or any sexual relations that contradict the system God Almighty had created it for.
  • Harming in wealth by stealing or destructing others possessions.

 

 

-          Minor spiritual denouncers are things that, at many times, may lead to major spiritual denouncers, but usually affect the individual’s spirituality.  Those spiritual denouncers are in the individual’s actions that affect the heart gradually.

–      Sight spiritual denouncers, such as looking at the wrong things

–      Hearing spiritual denouncers, such as listening to the wrong things that program one’s heart and mind

–      Tongue spiritual denouncers, such as gossiping, and lying.

–      Eating and drinking also have their impact on our spirituality, which is why Islam considers some foods or drinks – such as eating carnivore animals, or pork or alcohol – as major spiritual denouncers.

 

Stages of spirituality

Not all people or even Muslims are on the same level of their spirituality, which is why there are different levels, to help one test himself on.

  • Islam
  • Eman increases with obedience to God Almighty and decreases with committing spiritual denouncers.
  • Taqwa: leaves everything that is forbidden or takes to forbidden paths. خشوع
  • Ihsan: attained highest excellence in his faith, words, actions and thoughts, to the point that he lives all his life as if he sees God Almighty.

 

Spiritual elevators
Abstaining from spiritual denouncers is not enough, but is a major key to attaining spiritual therapy (tazkiya), in order to take the steps to go up the spiritual elevators. Islam connects between faith and action, therefore strong faith stands with strong actions that base from faith and sincerity to God Almighty alone.

The prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Faith is seventy and a few categories, the highest and best of it is submitting to God Almighty alone, and the lowest of it, is removing harm from roads” narrated by Muslim.

Spiritual elevators

The essence of all spiritual elevators is sincerity to God Almighty, even if the action was a normal action as sleeping, playing with one’s children, or even having a romantic time with his wife.

  • Major spiritual elevators are performing the pillars of Islam

–      Believing in one God Almighty

–      Praying: 5 times the obligatory, and more if you want to increase your spirituality

–      Fasting to enhance self discipline and training to leave spiritual denouncers for the sake of God Almighty

–      Charity trains a Muslim to balance his love for wealth and life and trains him to sacrifice himself for others.

–       Pilgrimage trains Muslims for universal spirituality, Muslim brotherhood and humility

 

Other forms of spiritual elevators include:

-          Contemplation through remembering the greatness of God Almighty, and the bounties He had blessed.

–      Recharging ones soul by mentioning the name of God Almighty, and invocating Him, and seeking His forgiveness, not just by heart, by literally mentioning it.

Finally, I ask Allah Almighty to bless us with faith, and increase our levels in spirituality.

Written by Shaykha Aysha Wazwaz

PhD candidate in Islamic Studies

MA Contemporary Islamic Studies

B.A Islamic Fiqh


اهتشلا

Hijab in Islam

Allah almighty throughout the history of prophets has obligated men and women to dress modestly. They were ordered to cover up more of their bodies than men due to many reasons. Men and women differ in the level of physical and psychological distractions that affect their spirituality, therefore, each one was ordered with different levels of covering.

Allah Almighty explains the reasons behind women’s covering in the following verse:
“O Prophet! Tell your wives, daughters and the believing women to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies. That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”(Quran interpretation 35: 59). Veiling is to indicate women’s identity through modesty as religious, concerned about her spirituality, bashful, considers her religion on top of worldly values or considerations. It is also to help her and others focus on their spiritualty rather than the appearances of things. We must not understand that veiling is separate from behaving in what covering is meant to deliver. Therefore, Muslim women must not speak, walk, behave or give any body language that contradicts the meanings of modesty/hijab. Muslim women are obligated to act in a respectful manner, not flirt or tease men.
Hijab is not just revealing a Muslim women’s identity to others, it is also reminding Muslim women that they should consider their spirituality and behave upon it to cleanse their hearts and submit themselves and actions to Almighty God.
Modesty as other ethics is a broad term, defining it can be affected by culture, politics, ego, desires…etc. Yet, modesty is one of the many things that make up standards and discipline within the individuals and communities. To preserve standards, which make up ethics, Islam has set regulations, principals and conditions to preserve the divine understanding of many ethics from human editions. The conditions of modesty in Islam were mentioned in Quran and prophetic traditions.
The conditions of women’s modesty (i.e. hijab) are:
1- It should cover all the body
Allah Almighty had ordered that Muslim women must cover all their body, as mentioned in the (Quranic translation): “And tell the believing women to lower their gaze, and guard their private parts, and to not display their adornments except that is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornments except to their own husbands or fathers or husbands’ fathers, or their sons or their husbands’ sons, or their brothers or their brothers’ sons or sisters’ sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack vigour, or children who know not of women’s nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet, so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed.” (24:31)

This verse obligates women to cover their bodies, and hide their adornments and not display them in front of non-mahram men (i.e. all men other than her father, grandfather, sons, grandsons, brothers and their children (i.e. nephews), and grand nephews, uncles and grand uncles, father in law, step father, husbands children, step brothers, and milk relatives that are similar to the above mentioned). See (An-Nisa 4:22-23)
Scholars had different opinions on the level of mandation for covering the face and hands, the preponderant ruling, in brief, and Allah knows best is that it is not obligatory but sunnah (i.e. recommended, where one will be rewarded for doing it, and will not be sinned for leaving it.)

2) It should not be an adornment in and of itself
Allah Almighty says in surah 24: 31 as translated: “ Say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof. “
This verse clearly states that all beauty and ornaments (zeena in Arabic) are to be covered. Therefore, as long as it falls within the word beautification, the Muslim woman must cover it.  This does include the dress itself, even if it was covering all the body that it shouldn’t be an ornament in itself. In fact, in another verse (33:33) Allah Almighty calls such kind of ornament exposure, as the fashion of Jahiliya (ignorance and deviation before Islam).

 3) It should be thick, not revealing the body shape or “see-thru”
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) has foretold us of coming deviated fashions and said: “Two kinds of my ummah (nation) will be from the dwellers of hellfire, but I had never seen them…(he mentions one) and the second he says: there will be women who are clothed but naked, they walk in a non still manner, with something on their heads like the camel’s humps. They will not enter Paradise or even smell its fragrance, although its fragrance can be detected from such and such a distance.” (Narrated by Muslim)
The purpose of modesty is to prevent temptation, covering the body is not enough, but it must also not reveal the body or its contours. The mentioned hadith was referring to fashions that even Muslim women will wear, but it still will not be considered as modest, since it maybe not thick, revealing the body, tight and revealing the body shape, or see thru, revealing the body itself. The rest of the hadith warns Muslim women from a fashion that many Muslim women will do, which is puffing up their head scarves from the back as camel humps.
In an authentic hadith Usaamah ibn Zayd said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) gave me a thick Egyptian garment that was one of the gifts given to him by Duhyat al-Kalbi, and I gave it to my wife to wear. He said, ‘Why do I not see you wearing that Egyptian garment?’ I said, ‘I gave it to my wife to wear.’ He said, ‘Tell her to wear a gown underneath it, for I am afraid that it may describe the size of her bones.’” (sunan Alkubra for Albayhaqi hadith no. 3165)
4) It should not be perfumed or fragranced
There are many hadiths that forbid women from wearing fragrance when they go outside of their homes, or in front of non mahram men. From the authentic hadiths: a woman passed by Abu Hurayrah and her scent was overpowering. He said, “O female slave of al-Jabbaar (i.e. most Powerful Almighty God), are you going to the mosque?” She said, “Yes,” He said, “And have you put on perfume because of that?” She said, “Yes.” He said, “Go back and wash yourself, for I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say: ‘If a woman comes out to the mosque and her fragrance is overpowering, Allah will not accept any prayer from her until she goes home and washes herself.”(Musnad Ahmad Hadith no. 7350 )

5) It should not resemble the clothing of men, or any deviated group, cult, other religion, or even a personal fashion for the sake of fame or vanity.
Allah Almighty had created mankind with a pure state of creation; clothing is one factor that may have its effect on how we feel towards ourselves and the world around us. Therefore, Islam has ordered that women dress modestly as Muslim women and not men.
‘Abd-Allaah ibn Abbas said: the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) had cursed the men that imitate women, and the women that imitate men” (Sahih Al-Bukahri 5546)

Clothing is also to preserve the Muslim’s loyalty to God Almighty alone and to the Muslim community, a Muslim must only dress as Muslims and not imitate any religious groups, cults, gangs, or celebrities in their fashion, if it is specifically for and is worn by them. The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said: “Whoever imitates any group of people, he becomes a part of them” (Sunan Abu Dawood 4031)
It is worthy of note here, that a Muslim’s loyalty to the Muslim community also prevents him/ her from inventing his own fashion for the sake of fame and being different from the rest of the Muslim community. A Muslim is to be a part and responsible within the community.
Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: ‘Whoever wears a garment of fame and vanity in this world, Allah will clothe him in a garment of humiliation on the Day of Resurrection…” (Abu Dawood hadith no. 4029)
Yet, Muslims may dress as other cultures, if that culture’s dress has the principals of modesty and is worn within that area of culture, and is not exclusive for a particular religious or deviated group.




menstrual cycle

Understanding Women’s Bleeding in Islam

 

Question I was asked: I’m currently on the pill (contraception). Sometimes I forget to take my pill for a

number of days which results in bleeding for a day or two. This blood IS dark like the color of menstrual blood but has NO smell at all.

The blood does stop eventually about a day or two after continue to take the pills I missed. This can happen at any time of the month depending when I’ve forgotten to take the pills. In my current case it’s about 2 weeks from the start of my last proper period.

I want to know if I can pray during this time because I’m unsure if this is counted as menses or not. If I can pray, presumably I’d have to make Wudu before every salah as with post natal blood?

ANSWER:

Wa alykum asalam,

To answer the question, we first must understand the concept of menstruation and women’s discharges in Islam.

 

    In Islam, there are three bloody discharges; each has its name, definition and rulings that relate to it.

A)     Menstrual bleeding: which is the monthly cycle bleeding that ovulating women get. In Islam, it is known by its dark red and blackish color, heavy thick texture, and with a fishy strong odor.   Some women have regular cycles; which is every 21-28 days.  Other women have irregular cycles.  Women with regular cycles may define their periods by determining the blood texture (i.e. black, stinky odor) along with timing and other body symptoms (such as cramping, tenderness in breasts…etc.) as signs to help define her cycle days. Women that have irregular periods determine by examining the texture along with symptoms, since timing is not possible. Keeping in mind, that bloody discharge in healthy women is mostly menstrual bleeding, unless proven otherwise. .  Although scholars had differed in opinion on the least and most number of days for a women’s cycle. There really is no authentic evidence for the highest and least number of days. Every woman has a different cycle, and in fact a woman’s period is not the same every month either.

Rulings that relate to differentiating between women’s bleeding are:

Menstruating women:

-          do not pray, and is not mandated to make it up either.

-           Menstruating women do not fast Ramadan, but are required to make it up.

-           Intercourse during menstrual bleeding is extremely prohibited in Islam.

-          A man is sinned for divorcing his wife during her period, with different opinions between scholars on whether the divorce is valid or not.

-          In case of divorce, menstruating women wait three menstrual cycles before leaving the marriage in the first two divorces.

B)      The second type of bleeding is the post-partum bleeding, which is after the delivery or abortion of a human shaped fetus or a full grown baby alive or dead (120 days of pregnancy). There is no minimum number of bleeding days for post-partum. Whenever the bleeding stops, she basically showers for ending the bleeding, and is then obligated to pray, fast and may even have intercourse with her husband unless it harms her.

Scholars had different opinions on the maximum number of days ranging from forty to sixty days. But Allahu A’lam the preponderant ruling is that if the maximum number of post-partum is forty days based on the hadith and not the words of Tab’een as in Madhab Malik which considered sixty days based on the words of Tab’een.

What does a woman not do during her post-partum?

 A woman during the days of her post-partum does not pray, and is not obligated to make it up. Yet, she does make up the days she missed from fasting Ramadan, which she was obligated to break her fast in. Women may not have intercourse during their post-partum bleeding. In general, post-partum bleeding takes the same rulings as menstrual bleeding.

C)      The third type of bleeding is any bleeding or discharge that is not menstrual or post- partum, which is called (Istihada). Unlike menstrual bleeding, it could be red or bright red, or pink or even other colored discharge. It does not have an odor. And is not during the cycle days.

Rulings that relate to women during Istihada

-          Women during istihada are obligated to pray and fast normally, but make wadu for every salat, as long as the discharge is persistent.

-          She may also have intercourse with her husband, with different opinions between scholars.

-          Istihada does not affect divorce, and is not used for calculating waiting periods (idda).

Brownish discharge (known as Kudra) is not necessarily istihada. Scholars had different opinions on it. The different opinions ranged from considering it as istihada, to other opinions differentiating whether it came before or after the period. Some scholars considered it part of a period if it comes after a period but not before, others considered it a period if it comes before the period and not after.

Preponderant on brownish discharge

Through studying the hadiths there really is no evidence on any of the opinions. As brown discharge is actually old blood. If the discharge comes within the timing of a women’s period, then it’s part of her period days whether it was in the beginning or the end of her cycle days since it’s actually old blood anyways. And the general ruling on women’s bleeding is that it’s supposed to be menstrual unless proven otherwise, as Ibn Taymiya said. If it is discharged during times other than the menstrual times, it then would be part of istihada or postpartum if it is during the forty days after delivery.

Many factors may disrupt a women’s cycle, and that is left for the specialist in Gynecology to research.  In Islam, if a woman’s cycle is disrupted whether due to IUD’s or contraceptive pills or other reasons, she mainly depends on the blood’s texture and timing in case of regular periods to determine her period as previously mentioned. There is no one answer fits all, since every woman’s cycle is different, and every cycle is different for the same woman. Therefore, if a woman is spotting for missing a number of days on her contraceptive pills, it will depend on how far she is away from her last cycle, and the texture of that bleeding.  If the texture was dark black red, heavy, with an odor. That’s the texture of a period. If it was dark red as mentioned in the question, with no odor and not heavy and thick, that’s not menstrual bleeding but istihada. If the spotting was bright red or even red, then that’s also istihada even if the amount was big. Remember it’s not the quantity that matters it’s the quality and texture of the bleeding that determines menstrual from istihada.

 

How does a woman know the end of her cycle or post-partum?

When the bleeding stops, that means it’s over. But confusion may rise, since it ends gradually. To explain this, if the cervical mucus is discharged as white with no streaks of blood, brown, pinkish or yellow discharge, her period had ended. It’s basically the easiest way to determine. But the cervical mucus usually takes a longer while after the end of the period, and usually there is a moment of dryness and no discharge what so ever when wiping the area with a clean white napkin.  In this situation, she may wait a whole day before she takes her shower, if she discovered that her period was over for the whole day and no discharge was present, then she is obligated to shower to pray and fast. But since she had discovered that her period had ended a long while ago, she is obligated to make up those prayers that she had missed waiting to make sure her period had ended.

If the woman has constant bleeding, she is to use the previously mentioned ways- i.e. timing, texture…etc. to distinguish the beginning and ending of her period and the start of istihada.

Allahu A’lam.

 

Allahu A’lam

Note: names of scholars that held some opinions, along with detailed evidences were not mentioned to make the matter easy to understand. There may be other opinions on certain points that were not mentioned as well to give a fast and easy answer understood by non fiqh specialists.

Written by Shaykha Aysha Wazwaz

PhD candidate in Islamic Studies/ Jinan University

M.A contemporary Islamic Studies/ Alquds University

B.A Islamic Legislature, Fiqh/ Alquds University


fiqh

Sharia and women and the hijacked specialty

Sharia science is the most misunderstood and hijacked specialty. A strong phrase to begin an article with, many would say.  But, it’s the sad truth that reflects a reality of a misunderstood science.  Everyone knows that one cannot diagnose their illness, or write a prescription without a medical specialist consultation.  Yet, many dare to make their own fatwa (religious prescription), lecture about Sharia, and eventually take the roll of specialists in Sharia without having a degree or scholarly confirmation (ijaza) in Sharia.  Sharia is not just misunderstood by the non- Muslims.  Unfortunately, even the Muslim community is very ignorant about Sharia studies. Non- Muslim ignorance about Sharia is known and has a long history of accumulated stereotyped images about Islam. This is not the place to discuss it. But, what is even sadder is when some Muslims take the roll of specialists and issue wrong fatawa, give lectures on Sharia, and misinform both Muslims and non-Muslims about Islam. Later that misinformation becomes the core of neo-Islam that is not based on Qur’an and Sunnah, which the prophet peace be upon him had described as deviation.

Many Muslims have been influenced by the postmodern philosophy and deal with Quran, Sunnah, hadith, Islamic legislature (fiqh)… as a place for free interpretation and personal opinion. This is actually a very dangerous philosophy that has led to the edition of   tawheed (monotheism) and the books of Allah Almighty throughout history.  As mentioned in the Quran translation [4:46]: “…they have edited and displaced the words from their right places…”

Being eloquent in speaking about Islam or a topic does not make that person a specialist.

The prophet peace be upon him had pre-warned the Muslims about this specialty hijack as ‘Abdullah ibn. ‘Amr ibn. al-’As reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying:

“Verily, Allah does not take away knowledge by snatching it from the people, but He takes away knowledge by taking away the scholars, so that when He leaves no learned person, people turn to the ignorant as their leaders; then they are asked to deliver religious verdicts and they deliver them without knowledge, they go astray, and lead others astray.” Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim

 

So, the question is what is Sharia specialist?

Sharia specialty is the study of general Islamic studies, from Quran and its interpretation to Hadith and its sciences to Islamic legislature, Principals of Fiqh and even classical Arabic from Muslim scholars.  Someone that studied Sharia is usually able to answer most questions people ask about Islam.  But, if the question was more specific in a certain specialty in Sharia, such as Islamic legislature or the authenticity of a hadith, they may need to do more research and ask specialists in that particular field of study.  In modern colleges, it takes about four years of college to obtain a B.A degree in Sharia. Those that have not attended college to study Sharia, and learned from direct scholars outside the universities obtain what is called an Ijaza (i.e. certificate) in a particular book or study. But there are two types of Ijazas.  An  Ijaza (certificate) to prove that they have studied.  Another ijaza is given by the scholar approving them to teach a certain book or topic.

 

A common question people ask is: who do I go to if I had questions about Islam or wanted a fatwa on a matter?

Alhamdulilah, most Muslims are able to answer simple questions about Islam that relate to monotheism, general matters about prayer, and pillars of Islam which most non-Muslims ask about.  But, when it comes to more specific questions that many Muslims ask, seeking a specialist is important. In Islam, religion is not a matter of personal opinion, but textual evidence.  It is very important to spend time to learn Islam from Sharia specialists to make sure you are getting the right information about Islam and not falling in the ecstasy of eloquent speeches that do not depend on evidence but emotional mirages.

Asking the person whether he or she is a specialist in Sharia is a very important question. Muhammad Ibn Sereen (D. 110 after Hijra), a great and known scholar in many Islamic sciences said: “knowledge is religion, so beware of whom you learn your religion from”.

Unfortunately, many have misused the labels which at one time referred to those specialized in Sharia, such as Shaykh, shaykha or Imam. So, make sure that the person holding this label really is specialized in Sharia and is not just an outside deceiving label.

Finding a Sharia specialist is not enough, but making sure that they have the piety to act upon what they know, and admit their ignorance on a certain matter, then research for the right or preponderant  answer is as important as seeking the specialist.

It was reported that Imam Malik said: do not take your knowledge (i.e. Islamic knowledge) from four: a non-pious Muslim who announces his sins, a person publicizing his own personal opinion, a liar that lies on people, even if he does not lie on the prophet peace be upon him, and last an honorable and pious person that speaks with no knowledge”

 

The adab (etiquette) for asking for a fatwa?

Sharia specialty, like all other specialties is dominated by men. Some women scholars in Sharia were known such as Karima Almirwaziya and many others mentioned by Omar Reda Kahala in his four volume book, in where he lists hundreds of Muslim women scholars throughout history in all scientific fields including Sharia.  Yet, in our times, women find hardship in reaching the scholars, since most of them are men, and are distanced from women. That eventually built a barrier between women and the sciences of Islam.  Unfortunately, Muslim women tend to be more ignorant about their Islam than men. Especially, in the countries that took the opinion of preventing women from attending mosques. Most Muslim women from those countries do not even know how to do their prayer right. And this is not an exaggeration!  Allahu Almust’an.  Due to this ignorance, many women do not know what information to give to the scholar, what questions they should ask, and how to put the questions together.  They may spend an hour over the phone explaining a life story just to ask a one sentence question.  So, what to do before asking the question?

-          Write down and summarize the question.   

-          If the question is a personal matter

  • Be as anonymous as possible, and preserve your privacy.
  • Try sending the questions to scholars online with anonymous e-mails.
  • Study the matter online from trusted scholarly websites as www.islamqa.com or www.islamweb.net.
  • Go straight to the point
  • Don’t story tell, go straight to the question.
  • Sisters! Try finding a female specialist.  Male Shaykhs are not infallible, and are not your mahrams! Therefore, they are to be dealt with as any other man on the street.
  • Sisters! Don’t be descriptive with your questions, unless the scholar wanted more details to help answer the question.
  • Spend more time learning your religion from specialized scholars than making too many phone calls asking questions.

 

  • In case of marital problems and judging sessions. My advice to the sisters:
    • Before getting married, make sure that both of you agree on a certain “Islamic school” and perhaps a scholar in case of dispute to turn to.
    • Learn your rights and responsibilities in Islam and culture, and seek advice from sharia specialists before going into those sessions.
    • Remember, Islam does consider culture as a source of standards that defines rights and responsibilities at many times.  As scholars said:  “Al’adatu Muhakama” “culture is valid judging resource”.
    • Beware of interpreting peoples intentions, that won’t make your case stronger.
    • Sisters!  Unrevealing your husband’s privacy is unrevealing yours. So preserve your honor, and only bring up what you are oppressed in as points not as stories, because the other side will bring other stories too. The case then becomes an endless case.
    • Save your tears. And do not use profane words, or yelling tones.
    • Always keep in mind; if you and your spouse agreed to go to a scholarly judge, the final word is to be implemented by both of you, even if you dislike the ruling.
    • Always remember: Fatwa is different from judging. A Fatwa can be asked by one side of the verdict, and does not require hearing from both sides. So, be honest in your question. If the scholar had given you a fatwa that would mean it depended on the information that you gave, and is not confirming your words.  Whereas, judging requires hearing both sides.  If a judge hears both sides, one party can be more eloquent than another as the prophet peace be upon him had said. The judge rules based on what he has heard and is not necessarily giving the divine judgment on a matter. Therefore, if you had taken someone’s right, and the judge rules something to you, and you knew that it wasn’t right, return it back or apologize before Allah Almighty deals with you on judgment day.

 

 

Why did scholars have different opinions?

Scholars had differed in interpreting or weighing different texts in Islamic legislature throughout history. The leaders and scholars of different schools called (madhaheb) have actually learned from one another.  The four madhabs were the most famous, but there were many more than that.  The most important two reasons for the different opinions were:

1-       Arabic language: as any other language some words or prepositions hold plural meanings in Arabic.  One scholar may consider a certain ruling stronger than another due to the Arabic meaning which he saw as more accurate.

2-      Authenticity of hadith: the prophet’s companions- may Allah be pleased with them- who heard the prophets words had spread out through different countries, which led to having some hadiths harder to acquire by some scholars due to distances or time.  For example Abu Hanifa died in 150 year Hijra, while Imam Bukhari died at 256 year Hijra.  Abu Hanifa, as an example did not have the privilege to witness and make use of the major hadith compilation which took place in the third and fourth century Hijra.  That had a major impact on the development of Islamic legislature, and resulted in many differences of opinions, and even different schools called (Madhaheb).

 

Do I have to follow a certain Madhab?

A Muslim is not required to follow a certain (madhab), but is required to follow what is proven to being authentic.  In fact, being strict on a certain madhab and following everything it says is not an accurate way of following what’s authentic. The founding scholars of those schools have said: if the hadith was proven to being authentic, then that is my opinion.”  Abu Hanifah said: “This is my opinion, but if there is someone, whose opinion is better than mine, then accept that.”

Imam Maalik said: “I am only human, I may be right or I may be wrong, so measure my words by the Qur’an and Sunnah.”

As-Shaafa’i said: “If the hadith is authentic, then ignore my words. If you see well established evidence, then this is my view.” Imam Ahmad said: “Do not follow me blindly, and do not follow Maalik or al-Shaafa’i or al-Thawri (different scholars) blindly. Learn as we have learned.” And he said, “Do not follow men blindly with regard to your religion, for they can never be safe from error.”

 

What to do in case of difference of opinion between scholars?

A  Muslim is obligated to follow the evidence from the Quran and Sunnah and not people, as Imam Shafi’ee said: “Men are known by how keen they are in following truth. Truth is not known by Men”. Therefore, if a Muslim has the tools and knowledge to weigh the evidences, then they would be obligated to follow what they find as preponderant. But, most Muslims do not have the tools, such as the knowledge of identifying authentic from non-authentic hadiths, or classical Arabic, or the knowledge of knowing the dates of different texts in order to identify the abrogated texts, or principals of fiqh… in this case, they have the responsibility to seek a scholar whom they trust his or her piety and research.  They may follow the conclusions that that scholar had reached. It is also their responsibility to not search for the easiest answer, or “fatwa shop”, or look for the answers that suit their desires.

 

 Written by Shaykha Aysha Wazwaz

PhD Candidate in Islamic Studies, Aljinan University/ Lebanon

MA Contemporary Islamic Studies, Alquds University

B.A Islamic Jurisprudence Alquds University.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


wafa_al_jazeera

I usually don’t reply to hate videos, because if you follow a barking dog, he will bark more… But, I just wanted to respond to one of the videos, just to let everyone know, that not choosing to respond doesn’t mean not having the ability to respond.
Wafa Sultan is an aggressive women that is invited by so many media outlets as if she were an expert on Islam and Muslims. Most media outlets and even many oriental departments don’t even know the difference between fabricated stories and hadiths, and just attacking Islam and Muslims is an enough reason to bring them to speak, and present them as “experts”.
Someone asked me to respond to a video posted by someone on Facebook, and this is my fast response.
1) First of all, the story in which she had claimed that the prophet peace be upon him had killed the lady by the name Asma’ bint Marwan is actually a fabricated story. See the combined fabricated hadiths by Alalbani no. 6013, the story was mentioned by a narrator known as a liar!

Its fabrication was actually mentioned in the books of fabricated traditions. In other words, all Muslims know that they were fabricated; I guess she couldn’t even tell the difference between the books of hadiths and fabricated stories!!
The prophet peace be upon him had actually said in an AUTHENTIC hadith in Sahih Muslim (hadith no. 1731) and in the chapter of Jihad: “fight for the cause of God Almighty, fight those that reject God Almighty (remember no force in religion), do not steal booties, do not commit treachery, do not deform any body, do not kill any young child, or a woman, or an old aged, or someone in his/her worship place”

2) She lied on the prophet peace be upon him, I would expect her own stories were made up too, to make a hero of herself.

3) She couldn’t even say the name of the most famous scholar Alqardawi, how on earth do you expect her to know his fatwas?! I guess she didn’t even hear them, but its MEMRI who sends out thousands of emails copying and pasting and even spreading the words of Wafa and her likes. MEMRI is the place that 99% of the orientalists, and Journalists that write on Islam and Muslims copy from. MEMRI who has a history of fabricating the words of Islam and Muslim, and fabricating translations purposely to make a Muslim look ugly for political reasons, and the main political reason comes from the place MEMRI’s office is in, Jerusalem. MEMRI even refuses to say its full address, because they know it’s not an academic job that they are doing, but a “political war monger” with a “political agenda”, and that is why most of the people that work in it, are actually part of the Israeli “Deffense” Force. In where MEMRI wants to fabricate, stereotype the image of Islam and Muslims, and even if it purposely mistranslates their words to make them seem as if they were against the world, full of blood thirst and that Israel is facing a war on terrorist Muslims that know no mercy. Part of my M.A thesis was on them, I can go on and on, in speaking about their deliberate lies. Just an example on one of their works, is in where they would translate a quote that said on Iqraa channel: “we are here to protect Alaqsa from the colonists”, into: “we are here preparing to kill all Jews!”
4) As for the hadith that she had mentioned, it is true; Islam does consider women to being less of “aql”, which is determination and not intelligence. Something that was actually scientifically proven from the X and Y chromosome and how it relates to decision making and determination. I’m sure she knows that in psychology of women.
5) She claimed that Islam requests that Muslims kill people, is totally a stereotyped image that this so called “learned” or “ex-Muslims” claims to have information on. Looks like she never read the Quran, but some bits and pieces taken out of the sentences and even context. Has she not read the verse that said that whoever kills one person is as if he had killed all mankind! (Sura Alma’ida 32). Islam indeed, like the U.S and many other constitutions in the world, does consider that execution can be a legitimate punishment, depending on the case. But someone lame in their “knowledge”, or let me call it “knowledgeable ignorance” easily fools many listeners because it sounds so fascinating to say ex Muslim, or even claim that a religion says such and such. And when it’s Islam that you are demonizing, all the media outlets will give you the microphone to speak, and call you “expert”, when in reality they have nothing to do with knowledge.
6) She claimed that she didn’t attack Islam, but she is only criticizing it, why did she view Alqardawi as attacking her and not criticizing her?! I guess she needs to go to the dictionary, and see that aggressive action against, is what is called attack, and that’s what she does. But again she wants to make herself seem like a hero in whom all Muslims are busy “attacking”. She called Islam as full of violence, anger, hate and racism. Oh, she even goes further and even said that Islam was not a religion but a political doctrine. She also called for OPENING the Muslims SKULLS! Now sorry! I call that TERROR, ATTACK AND AGGRESSIVE!

She would not dare say that about Torah, because she would be afraid of being anti-Semitic. Even though the Old Testament, Torah, Mishnah has horrific stories of killing, raping and even cutting the bellies of pregnant women and children. See Deut 32-37 : “And the LORD our God delivered him before us; and we smote him, and his sons, and all his people. 34 And we took all his cities at that time, and utterly destroyed the men, and the women, and the little ones,”. Jeremiah 51:20-26: “”You are my battle-ax and sword,” says the LORD. “With you I will shatter nations and destroy many kingdoms. With you I will shatter armies, destroying the horse and rider, the chariot and charioteer. With you I will shatter men and women, old people and children, young men and maidens. With you I will shatter shepherds and flocks, farmers and oxen, captains and rulers. “As you watch, I will repay Babylon and the people of Babylonia for all the wrong they have done to my people in Jerusalem,” says the LORD. “Look, O mighty mountain, destroyer of the earth! I am your enemy,” says the LORD. “I will raise my fist against you, to roll you down from the heights. When I am finished, you will be nothing but a heap of rubble. You will be desolate forever. Even your stones will never again be used for building. You will be completely wiped out,” says the LORD.”

“Isaiah 13:15-18: “Anyone who is captured will be run through with a sword. Their little children will be dashed to death right before their eyes. Their homes will be sacked and their wives raped by the attacking hordes. For I will stir up the Medes against Babylon, and no amount of silver or gold will buy them off. The attacking armies will shoot down the young people with arrows. They will have no mercy on helpless babies and will show no compassion for the children.”

7) She claimed that Islam’s language has not developed positive people, or as in Arabic she said: a person that is fruitful.
All experts in history, know that when Europe was in its dark ages, Muslims were actually living in their golden age. Take a look at this link and see the Muslim contributions to western civilization. Don’t take your knowledge from ignorant people, base your knowledge on studies and references. Take a fast google search, and see wikipedia at least http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamic_contributions_to_Medieval_Europeat least 
8) As for the punishment of adultery. Indeed like the Bible, Quran does consider fornication as a sin, and like any other country it may have its constitution in what it considers as sins that are a threat to its community, and therefore, set regulations to stop it. But guess this lady knows nothing about Bible punishments. let’s what the bible says about adultery:
Leviticus 20:10: “If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.”
John 8: 3-11: ““Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women.”
Deuteronomy 22:22: “If a man is found lying with the wife of another man, both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman, and the woman. So you shall purge the evil from Israel. Leviticus 20:13 : “If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. “ You want to see some more verses , see this link. http://www.openbible.info/topics/punishment_for_adultery
As for stoning, which she didn’t mention, but many mention as if it were a punishment only in Islam. I would like to say, indeed Islam does mention stoning for only ONE case, intercourse done by a married person outside of wedlock. In the Torah and Mishnah it is actually for 18 EIGHTEEN different cases:
1. one who has had relations with his mother – הבא על האם
2. with his father’s wife – ועל אשת האב
3. with his daughter-in-law – ועל הכלה
4. a human male with a human male – ועל הזכור
5. or with cattle – ועל הבהמה
6. and the same is the case with a woman who uncovers herself before cattle – והאשה המביאה את הבהמה
7. with a blasphemer – והמגדף
8. an idolater – והעובד עבודת כוכבים
9. he who sacrifices one of his children to Molech – והנותן מזרעו למולך
10. one that occupies himself with familiar spirits – ובעל אוב
11. a wizard – וידעוני
12. one who violates Sabbath – והמחלל את השבת
13. one who curses his father or mother – והמקלל אביו ואמו
14. one who has assaulted a betrothed damsel – והבא על נערה המאורסה
15. a seducer who has seduced men to worship idols – והמסית
16. and the one who misleads a whole town – והמדיח
17. a witch (male or female) – והמכשף
18. a stubborn and rebellious son – ובן סורר ומורה”

9) Indeed prophet Jesus is a prophet of peace, like ALL prophets. But Muslims respect him even more than the Christians themselves. Let’s see what the Bible claims that Prophet Jesus peace be upon him had said: Matthew 10:34 : “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.”
Luke 14:26: ““If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. “

10) As for the the life of Prophet Mohammad peace be upon him: she claimed that there is nothing about the prophet’s life, but battles and women!  Let’s take one of the books of hadith, which includes the prophet’s words, actions and even stories. Sahih Albukhari contains 3450 chapters, only 45 chapters in Jihad and battles, the rest are about revelation, purification, prayer, charity, zakat, hajj, spirituality, marriage divorce, buying, renting, eating, drinking…etc. (I won’t mention the rest of the 3405 chapters.

11) As for Paradise is under the husband’s foot. That is actually not a hadith (prophetic tradition), but a non-authentic narration that was claimed to have been said by Sayida Aysha, may Allah be pleased with her. In the Bible: Ephesians 5:22 : “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. “, 1 Corinthians 11:3: the head of woman is man. 1 Peter 3:1-6: “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives”. Genesis 3:16 : “To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” 1 Timothy 2:12: “I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. “

My advice to those that want to learn Islam is to learn it from its authentic sources and not those that depend on fabricated stories from MEMRI and its likes.

Written by Shaykha Aysha Wazwaz
PhD Candidate Islamic Studies Jinan University


Advice on marrying a Shia

shia

Question I was asked: I loved this Shia guy, that is very good ma shaa Allah, and he isn’t like the rest of the Shia, but my parents are rejecting him because he is Shia? What would you advise me?

ANSWER

Asalam alykum,

Dearest sisters, you judged him and said “he is a very good guy ma shaa Allah“, my question is how do you know he’s a good guy?  We can’t be sure of ourselves, and that’s why Allah Almighty had forbid us from praising ourselves, how is it with others. It takes a lot of association with a person to finally come up with a judgment that he is good, and you still say and we praise none over Allah Almighty.

Anyhow, my advice is:

A successful marriage stands on one very important category, which is the more you and this person have in common the better communication there will be, and the higher the expectations we will have that this marriage will be a successful one.

If this man, is proven to be Shia that automatically means the following:

1) He doesn’t consider the Quran that you have as complete,

2) He doesn’t consider the Prophet traditions that you have, even the most authentic as acceptable.

3) He doesn’t consider many of the prophet’s companions (sahahba) as righteous. You might say so! What do I have to do with all the previous points? That’s his opinion; Rabna (Allah) is to judge him not I.

What you have to do with this is that this means you and him differ on the very base of any 1) dialogue, 2) understanding 3) the base of perspectives in the long run. Since, he does not consider your references in Quran, and its exegesis, sunnah no matter how authentic it is, and even prophet’s companions as your role models, not even his beloved wife. If we cannot agree on Allah’s words, the prophet’s sunnah, the righteous companions, do you really agree on one Islam here?!  This will lead to major disagreement and then finally divorce which means an unsuccessful marriage.

He may seem or be good in his character, handsome, smart, eloquent, funny, charming, kind…etc. I may agree with you. But, my dear sister, you have to understand that all this is not the base of a mutual understanding, or the base of perspectives which again means major disagreement on decision making. Therefore, the good characters that you might mention are considered like the good toppings on a meal and not the base. It’s kind of like having your favorite toppings not on a pizza but on a piece of bread or maybe on a completely different meal.  The toppings on their own don’t mean anything it’s the base that matters (that is the aqida (creed), thoughts, standards in life and the hereafter) and  again it’s not the good toppings like mushroom, extra cheese and whatever have you that make a piece of old bread good.

The base of a relationship between you and a man you want to marry is in these questions:

What are you both going to consider as good or bad? What are you both going to depend on as standards to differentiate right from wrong and final say? Both of these questions mean what is his and your final decision. In marriage, my dear sister the base is going to be the real thing that you will be dealing with, while all the other toppings will melt down and disappear if the base is not there.

Let me give you an example: you get married to this man, one day he comes with another woman whom he says is his mut’a wife (temporary or wife for enjoyment). He tells you Islam says it’s okay. You argue that there is no such thing as a temporary marriage, and that this is zina. He starts bringing you his Shia fabricated hadeeths. You argue and bring him a hadith narrated by Ali bin Abi Taleb when he said that the last thing the prophet had done was forbid mutu’a and eating donkey’s meat. He tells you I don’t believe in that hadith. Those sahaba lied on the prophet. Well, the argument goes on and on. Because the agreement is in the base, that is he doesn’t consider the hadith that we as sunnis depend on. He doesn’t consider the Quran that you depend on. You can’t say it’s just a disagreement about a fiqh issue. You’re going to fight because this issue means your life here, this issue means your children seeing their father with a new woman every once in a while whom he calls his temporary wife. And you call zina and tell your children that that’s not right. Think about it!  You won’t be able to handle a new woman every few months told to be his mut’a wife would you?

The discussion between you and him, if he stays on his Shia belief is going to be a dead end, because he is going to say I call this halal and you call it haram.

My dear sister, my other advice is talk to your parents and agree with them that you want to get married to someone that is saleh/ pious and inshaa Allah you will get a man that considers the Quran, Sunnah and Sahaba. There are many out there, so don’t hurry on taking the toppings and not the real thing.

Asalam alykum

 

My stance on Shiasm

 

NOTE: After this advice, many had fell in confusion, and said that that is not what they heard their friends say about Shiam. Some Shias responded and said that they respected the prophet’s companions, and responded with taqiyya, My reponse was:

Asalam alykum everyone, jazakum Allahu khiren for reading the posted on marrying a Shia, I understand the confusion that many fell in, the Shia creed versus what some of your good Shia friends have said about themselves. I would like to note that understanding a theology for a certain sect is not by how some of its “innocent” or “blind” followers may explain it, but it’s based on its scholars, its texts and references. And when you want to study Shiasm, you must only go to the references that they consider as considerable references. And some of these references include:بحار الأنواب، الكافي، مصباح التهجد، المنية والأمل في شرح الملل والنحل،    etc. And there you will see what you would be shy to tell your own children…it has nothing to do with “authenticity” in terms of referencing and academic study of hadith or even spirituality, but hate, and cursing prophet’s companions!

If someone explained their creed in a way other than what was mentioned in Shia books, and rejected the Quran being incomplete, and said the prophet’s companions are respected, from Ali, to Abu Baker, to Omar to Othman to the beloved wives of the prophet peace be upon him Aysha, and Hafsa and not call either of them a “….”, – sorry couldn’t say the word on a lady Allah Almighty had revealed Quran in Surah Nur announcing her purity and bashfulness-.

Then they would have no problem accepting hadiths, if they are proven to being authentic.

If they rejected “legalized prostitution”, so called (mut’a marriage), rejected that the Angel Jibreel had mistaken the prophet peace be upon him with Ali. Prays and seeks forgiveness only to and from Allah almighty and not to anyone even if it’s one of Al Albayt. And does not believe that they have the right to harm any Muslim under the pretense of taking revenge for the blood of the prophet’s son, May Allah be pleased with all his companions, whom no Muslim what so ever would have hate for.  This person is on the top of my head even if they called themselves Shia, this label does not hurt, since every Muslim is obligated to love Al Albayt anyways.

Indeed there are many sects within Shia sects, and not all consider the Quran as incomplete, and not all believe in some of the previous mentioned details, but that is the majority of Shia.   Most of the unreligious or awakened Shias, that have no knowledge or aware of what their books say,  are very close to Sunni, if not even Sunni, because their pure fitra just rejected the falsehood said about Quran, or prophet’s companions, or hadiths, or even legalizing prostitution. I wouldn’t call those Shia, I would call them awakened Muslims, and may Allah Almighty bless those that don’t blindly follow others, and May Allah Almighty bless and forgive us and them.

Ameen.

 

 


Spiritual Therapy in Islam

 concept of spirituality

Spirituality has become a hot topic that many in the west are discussing, probably even more than eastern countries. Even though it may seem the opposite, since many eastern countries live in different spiritualties, even if they didn’t speak about it. Many philosophers, religions, cults, etc. try to explain the connections that relate our body, mind and spirit to this life and God Almighty. On the other side of this, stands the postmodern philosophy which considers life to be nothing but mere nonsense, and, therefore, religions as old fashion or compiled myths. Postmodernism is enforcing new standards and a completely new life system that concentrates on entertainment, body pleasures and shallow personal benefit.

But man is man, whether from the East or West, and no matter the modernity surrounding him. He is still the same man that was created, with the same pure innate instinct which Islam calls fitra.

Fitra is the pure physical and spiritual instinct God Almighty created us in.  Going against the fitra, actually means going against the system that God Almighty created in you, and therefore causing unbalance in your physical, psychological and spiritual life and your relationship to God Almighty.

Most philosophies and religions consider that body and soul develop at each other’s expense. Therefore, they consider that spirituality can only be obtained by denying the physical needs and mortification of the flesh, and that world activity or modern life arrests spiritual elevation. The result of this was people seeking spirituality by denying their physical needs, family needs, community needs and participation in developing their community.

On the other side of this philosophy are people racing to find pleasures in any way possible, even if it contradicts the pure fitra they were created in. It even went so far as comparing himself with animals rather than being noble humans that are gifted with mind and other abilities. For this group, pleasure was made as a goal, whether that was wealth, fame, ownership, sex, etc.

The concept of spirituality in Islam compared to spirituality in other religions and ideologies

Islam’s concept of spirituality goes beyond the dualism of spirit and matter and considers it as the core concept of being Muslim and the reason of life. It is of high importance to not detach or   distance spirituality from the fundamental ontological questions: how did we come to this world, and why, and where we are going? Spirituality should be part of the answer to these questions. It should not be a short way to run away from these questions or from personal trouble. It should be in the core of our understanding of this life and what comes after it.

Spirituality is within you

Prophet Mohammad peace be upon him said: “every new born is born with a pure state of creation (fitra) (i.e. feeling the existence of a supreme being behind life, and feeling that there is something behind this life), but his parents make a Jew, or make him a Christian, or make him a Zoroastrian.” Narrated by Muslim, hadith no. 2568, (Also, see Quran 7: 172)

Your environment has its impact in shaping your perception about life and the understanding of God, but everyone has the instinct (fitra) deep inside themselves that makes him question the reason to life, death and what’s behind this creation. These are questions that prophets and Messengers were sent to reveal to us the answers.  Man’s powers are limited to find deep explanations beyond what he hears, sees and feels. Science has explained to us how some of things around us function, but not why they were made to function that way, and it can never also explain who made them function that way. Science concludes that this world is so complex that there is no way it can form and create itself. As our mind has discovered that zero plus zero never equals but zero. Our mind is the core of the combination of understanding life and God Almighty, which is why Quran is always speaking to man’s mind and asking him to think about the complexity of the different creations around him, and how it can never be formed on its own, but by a Magnificent creator.

Beware of life pacifiers

Although man has the fitra to question his existence to relate to his reality and the reality of life, he also has the capability (called nafs) of pacifying himself away from his fitra demands. Pacifiers act as entertainments, which man finds temporary pleasure in, such as money, friends, music, sexuality, looks, children, and the list goes on and on…

Man is a vicegerent in this world, and was created in the best way for the fulfillment of this responsibility. The body was created with a sole object (i.e. the soul/ spirit) in order to function for the fulfillment of this responsibility. The body does not function without the soul, and the path for the soul development is in both soul and body.

Islam and Asceticism

Islam rejects living away from your responsibilities and proposes methods for elevating your spirituality, not outside this world but within life and your responsibilities.

Understanding spirituality in Islam (tazkiya)

Perceptions of life and its surroundings (faith) along with intentions determine your heart’s action. Your body and mind only react to your heart’s action. This makes spirituality inseparable from how you perceive the world around you, and later how you act in it, and towards it.

In order to gain spirituality, Islam focuses on the heart and ones’ understanding of this world, and considers that God Almighty is the One behind this life, and that He had created man to worship Him alone. Worship in Islam, is a comprehensive word to mean more than ritual, and includes acting upon God Almighty’s standards. His standards are to preserve the fitra (pure natural creation)  from going astray, or becoming a victim to world pacifiers to gain close relations to God Almighty.

 

What is to be attained through spirituality?

Through spirituality, success can be achieved in this life, by balancing the different needs, which God Almighty set the standards for, so that we may preserve a healthy life.  Spirituality also leads to sucess in the hereafter with the reward of paradise.  In the Quran, Allah Almighty says (Translated 79:40-41): “As for he who fears the standing before His Lord and prevents his nafs (lust and inner motive for going after temporary pleasure) from fulfilling its desire, paradise is his abode”.

What is the criterion for spiritual development?

Every Muslim must use all of his capacities for the sake of God Almighty, and fulfill all duties with sincerity and obedience to Him alone by doing things as He had ordered, in the manner that He had ordered it to be done.

Spiritual actions are not separated from materialistic or physical actions, but are connected to each other. So your actions affect your spirituality, and your spirituality affects your life and psychological balance, such as your happiness, tranquility and inner peace. To attain inner peace (Islam), one must do jihad of the nafs (control his lust and inner motives) from enslaving him, in order to submit to God Almighty alone (Islam).  This is where the name Islam comes from, that is: attaining inner peace by submitting to God Almighty alone.

Islam sets pathways for attaining spiritual development and calls spiritual denouncers as sins, and the obligatory things as spiritual elevators. It must be noted that spiritual elevators are affected by spiritual denouncers. Therefore, one may find spiritual elevators as hard to apply if he has not worked on his spiritual denouncers. And since prevention is better than remedy, Islam orders Muslims to consider spiritual denouncers before considering spiritual elevators.  The prophet (peace be upon him) said, “If I order you to leave something, then stay away from it, and do as much as you can of what I ordered you to do”, narrated by Bukhari (7288) and Muslim (1337).

Spiritual denouncers

 Spiritual denouncers, and addiction to them, have different capacities to damage the heart. The larger the damage it causes to one’s personal or community spirituality, the stronger Islam’s stance is in ordering one to abstain from it. The stronger the addiction if one were to commit it, the stronger of a spiritual denouncer it is. The scale of forbiddance is based on the strength of that spiritual denouncer.  The stronger that spiritual denouncer and the longer time one spent committing it, the more spiritual effort (jihad of the nafs) is required.

The scale of major spiritual denouncers (major sins):

-          Harming the community’s spirituality is considered a larger spiritual denouncer than the individual’s. Making the worst spiritual denouncers are those that harm the communities’ or the individual’s: faith, life, mind, chastity and wealth.

  • Harming in faith by bringing confusion to people’s faith and trust in God Almighty
  • Harming in life by killing or threatening to kill and terrorizing the communities
  • Harming in mind by intoxicating it through alcohol, drinking or drugs
  • Harming in chastity by rape, adultery, fornication or any sexual relations that contradict the system God Almighty had created it for.
  • Harming in wealth by stealing or destructing others possessions.

 

-          Minor spiritual denouncers are things that, at many times, may lead to major spiritual denouncers, but usually affect the individual’s spirituality.  Those spiritual denouncers are in the individual’s actions that affect the heart gradually.

–      Sight spiritual denouncers, such as looking at the illicit things

–      Hearing spiritual denouncers, such as listening to the wrong things that program one’s heart and mind to wrong things.

–      Tongue spiritual denouncers, such as gossiping, and lying.

–      Eating and drinking also have their impact on our spirituality, which is why Islam considers some foods or drinks – such as eating carnivore animals, or pork or alcohol – as major spiritual denouncers.

Stages of spirituality

Not all people or even Muslims are on the same level of their spirituality, which is why there are different levels, to help one test himself on.

  • Islam: which is believing that there is no God worthy of worship but One God.
  • Eman: increases with obedience to God Almighty and decreases with committing spiritual denouncers.
  • Taqwa: stays away from spiritual denouncers at all times.
  • Ihsan: attained highest excellence in his faith and spiritual elevators in ritual, words, actions and thoughts, to the point that he lives all his life as if he sees God Almighty.

Spiritual elevators
Abstaining from spiritual denouncers is not enough, but is a major key to attaining spiritual therapy (tazkiya), in order to take the steps to go up the spiritual elevators. Islam connects between faith and action, therefore strong faith stands with strong actions that base from faith and sincerity to God Almighty alone.

The prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Faith is seventy and a few categories, the highest and best of it is submitting to God Almighty alone, and the lowest of it, is removing harm from roads” narrated by Muslim.

Spiritual elevators

The essence of all spiritual elevators is sincerity to God Almighty, even if the action was a normal action as sleeping, playing with one’s children, or even having a romantic time with his wife.

  • Major spiritual elevators are performing the pillars of Islam

–      Believing in one God Almighty

–      Praying the five obligatory prayers.  Other prayers are offered at other times to enhance one’s spirituality through ritual.

–      Fasting to enhance self-discipline and training to leave spiritual denouncers for the sake of God Almighty

–      Charity trains a Muslim to balance his love for wealth and life and trains him to sacrifice himself for others.

–       Pilgrimage trains Muslims for universal spirituality, Muslim brotherhood and humility

 

Other forms of spiritual elevators include:

-          Contemplation through remembering the greatness of God Almighty, and the bounties He had blessed us with.

-          Recharging ones soul by mentioning the name of God Almighty, and invocating Him, and seeking His forgiveness, not just by heart, by literally mentioning it.

Finally, I ask Allah Almighty to bless us with faith, and increase our levels in spirituality. Ameen!

Written Shaykha Aysha Wazwaz

Founder of Gems of Light (nonprofit  organization) www.gemsoflight.com

PhD Candidate Jinan University/ Lebanon

M.A Contemporary Islamic Studies/ Alquds University

B.A Islamic Jurisprudence/ Alquds University.


A Sisterly Advice for a Bride

By: Shaykha Aysha Wazwaz

Islamic-Wedding

QUESTION I will be getting married soon what would you advise me?

REPLY I ask Allah Almighty to make your marriage, a gathering that takes you and your husband to tranquility, love and mercy. I also make duaa’ with what the prophet peace be upon him had invoked Allah Almighty for a newly wed couple: “Baraka Allahu lakuma wa Baraka feekuma wa jama’a baynakuma fi khire” “May Allah bless you (both) and put blessings in you, and join you in righteousness”.

It is very wise to ask for an advice on marriage before getting married. Yet, the advice that we may give someone maybe different than the advice that we may give someone else, based on his personality; character, situation…etc. The prophet peace be upon him had given different answers to different people to the same question. Such as when he was asked what the best deed was.  For some he advised them to control their anger, to others he said: give charity, to other’s he said be kind to your parents. The same goes for giving advices on marriage.

Despite that, I will try to give an advice based on your place of living (i.e. the west or America) from my experience in dealing with marriage problems and being a fiqh specialist.

• Do not deal with you husband based on what your rights and his rights are.  A good and an unfortunate thing is having books that list the  husband’s rights and wife’s rights. Good, because it is important to know what your responsibilities are towards him, and what his responsibilities are towards you. At the same time, many misunderstand this listing and dealt with the issue as if it were a book of constitution with no life. On the theoretical stance that is true, you have rights and so does he. However, when it comes to real life practice, many sisters tend to deal with their marriage as if they were in court and not in marriage. The harmony of giving in, the harmony of tranquility, sharing moments even if they were not his right at that moment, but a gift from you is extremely important to bring in love and tranquility. And of course I would say the same to men. But my reply was to a sister, so I’ll leave my words directed at women.

Quran calls for a marriage relationship that is based on: “mawada” (i.e. giving in with love at all times), (sukoon) tranquility, which is something most marriages are losing, and   mercy; a beautiful give in that was irrigated with love and tranquility.  If you look at all these words, all of them tend to carry in their deep meaning living with giving in, compromising and adjustment. When and what to give in? Learn the psychology of men and your husband and use your wisdom to get the technique for that. Every man has his own character, personality, psychology. … Just like every woman has her own character. Therefore, the advice that we may give a certain woman might not suit another in her marriage.

Having the right to do something does not mean go do it, or even having the right to do it then. Be wise in choosing the time to request or talk about things. Be wise in the way you talk about it. Many sisters unfortunately, would call me and ask for an example; does Islam say I have the right to go to my parent’s house? The answer is of course: yes, you do. Yet, at a latter time, I would discover that she did not explain the situation of her question, and that resulted in problems between her and her husband. The question was not complete and therefore, the answer was not complete. Why? Because the person asking did not use her wisdom in explaining the situation at her home, her husband’s mood, or many other things that would make her visiting her parents then, not a wise thing to do. The result would be a bad day for that couple, accumulated tensions that keep adding up, and eventually lead to the husband complaining that his wife is stubborn, and she would say he does not want to give me my rights!

Do not ask for your rights on the wrong time, you will lose more rights then, unless his taqwa (i.e. piety) controlled his anger. Your duty is not to test anyone’s taqwa. Wrong times such as just came from work, or you see on his face something saying: I am tired, did not have a good day, over the phone, or is just in the wrong mood… He will have his bad moments and you will have your bad moments. I am not saying lose your rights to win your marriage. But, live on the concept of giving in with love, tranquility and mercy, that will inshaa Allah eventually bring you your rights. Make your marriage, and household a place your husband longs for. A place where your husbands finds his happiness in. Many sisters think, from what they have seen on television, that she is supposed to concentrate on her beauty and looks.  Sisters, Your wisdom, you being a friend to him with your good behaviors, actions,  or even having everything set, whether that was food, clothes, quietness or whatever the husband likes in the castle of your household is the string that you should learn how to use to bring about the harmony of music notes in the house. It’s okay to be traditional and simple; we are the same humans with the same emotions and psychology from Adam –peace be upon him- until today. Allah Almighty had described men as “qawamoon”, i.e. leaders of the household. So don’t fight off an instinct Allah Almighty had created in him.

Do not compare how much he is giving in and how much you are giving in. That may result in the long run your marriage looking like some kind of a buy and sell contract. Remember, you do not see yourself, but he sees you. Moreover, he does not see himself but you see him. Therefore, do not pick on his mistakes at all times, because you have your own mistakes while not noticing them.  This kind of comparison will result in him trying to defend himself and proving you wrong, or that may even go as far as making you, or you making him seem like the worst person on Earth, and then exchanging accusations. These accusations are not going to bring more understanding; instead, they will start hatred and then later result in animosity and divorce between the couple.  Sister, live your marriage for the sake of Allah Almighty and not for the sake of anyone else. Do not look at your marriage from the feminist’s angle, the angle that tends to see husbands as enemies; therefore, thinking that you must “FIGHT” him to get your rights. The Quran calls marriage a foundation of love and mercy, not a battle field.

Watch your voice tone. Many sisters think that if she is saying the right thing, he has to accept it. Unfortunately, that is not most people’s reaction in real life. Not all people accept truth because its right, some may refuse it, because they are in a bad mood.   The way you use your voice tone for a statement, can actually mean completely the opposite or seem offensive and may result in more conflict than ease. If you do not know how to control your voice tone, write what you want to say on paper, leave it for a day, and reread what you said, then give it to him.

Avoid discussing problems during your or his anger, or even during the happiest moments. If you discuss things during anger, none of you will hear the other. If you discuss things during the happiest moments, that might break those happy “rare” moments, and perhaps both of you will eventually not feel these happy moments anymore. During your discussion, try first finding common grounds. Beware of making him seem all wrong and nothing good in him.

There is nothing wrong with saying “sorry”, even when it is not your fault, just to bring a listening ear. Because, if there are things that you want to change in him, or him in you the most important thing is having a smooth dialogue and be able to exchange ideas smoothly. Remember, this relationship is intended to be a life relationship. WINNING A HEART AND RELATIONSHIP IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WINNING AN ARGUMENT.

Sister, my words may seem harsh on sisters, but that is because I am directing my advice to them. If I were talking to a brother, I would say other things that might make me seem like a feminist.

Learn how to control your anger and your emotions: women are more sensitive than men. Sensitivity, or physical changes may lead to many unhappy moods for women. Many men do not understand that things such as morning sickness in pregnancy, or even a period can actually change her mood. At the same time, many sisters take advantage of that, and expect men to understand or succumb to her moods. We do hope that they understand those changes, and that is part of being a good Muslim. Yet, when it comes to reality, it is a different story.  Sisters know your body, and learn how to control your mood swings, DO NOT LET THEM CONTROL YOU!  Because that may result in a bigger problem than a mood swing.

Finally I ask Allah Almighty to give you and your husband the wisdom to make you a couple an example for other Muslims. Ameen.

These are some of my personal advices; jazaki Allah khiren. If I made any mistakes, it would be from me and the shaytan. May Allah forgive me, and guide me to saying truthful things. Ameen!

Article published by Halal Post/ MN/U.S.A

ART


Islam

 

and

 

Greeting Non-Muslims on their holidays

 

Holiday_Card___Holiday_Greetings_7056

Question: asalamu aleikum, question what does Islam say about participating in Christians holiday such as giving gifts and greeting cards?

Answer: Islam has taught Muslims that they should be proud of their Islam, and be lighthouses for all mankind and spread the message of Islam. See Quran translation (6:70): “And leave alone those who take their religion as play and amusement, and whom the life of this world has deceived. But remind (them) with it (the Qur’ân)”. One of the  prophets’ companions’ had set a great example and said Rib’iy bin Amer: “Allah Almighty had sent us to all mankind to liberate them form worshiping the servants of Allah (mankind) to worshiping Allah Almighty, and to free them from oppression of other religions to the justice of Islam, and from the narrowness of this life to the wideness of the hereafter.” From there I would like to say several things to the Muslims that succumb their Islam to the pressures of their surroundings.

1-     Being Muslim, means submitting to Allah Almighty, so do not submit yourself to the pressures around you. And remember that Allah Almighty has guided you, so do not go back to the wrong path

2-     The prophet peace be upon him said: “whoever imitates any group, he is considered part of them”, so be part of those that follow the prophet peace be upon him, and enlighten people about the Allah Almighty rather than encouraging them on their wrong path and view about God Almighty under the pretense of religious tolerance.

3-     Joining any group in their “religious” celebration in any way or form, whether that meant exchanging gifts, or just as one saying a short phrase- that meant congratulating them for their religious holiday is a form of joining or participating and celebrating that religious holiday in Islam. And therefore, is forbidden because it is encouraging them on their  shirk and joining them in that form of shirk rather than guiding them.

4-     Religious tolerance is not done by giving up on your Islam and duty towards Allah Almighty to gain peoples content over you.

5-     Religious tolerance in Islam takes place when it concerns worldly issues but not on behalf of the religion. Therefore, a Muslim is obligated to be just, kind and good to his non-Muslim parents, relatives, acquaintances…etc., but that does not mean giving up on his/her Islam and approving their shirk or living by their standards. See translated Quran (31:13-15): “And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years — give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.[] (14) But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.”

6-     At the same time, it totally doesn’t mean you insult their beliefs. See Quran translation (6:107): “And insult not those whom they (disbelievers) worship besides Allâh, lest they insult Allâh wrongfully without knowledge. Thus We have made fair¬seeming to each people its own doings; then to their Lord is their return and He shall then inform them of all that they used to do.”.

7-     A Muslim is ordered to do wise dawa through dialogue. See Quran translation (16: 125): “And insult not those whom they (disbelievers) worship besides Allâh, lest they insult Allâh wrongfully without knowledge. Thus We have made fair¬seeming to each people its own doings; then to their Lord is their return and He shall then inform them of all that they used to do.” but rather in wise dawa.

8-     In conclusion see what Allah Almighty says in Surah Almumtahina, which I had quoted its translation (60: 1-9): “O you who believe! Take not My enemies and your enemies (i.e. disbelievers and polytheists) as close friends and supporters, showing affection towards them, while they have disbelieved in what has come to you of the truth (i.e. Islâmic Monotheism, this Qur’ân, and Muhammad SAW), and have driven out the Messenger (Muhammad SAW) and yourselves (from your homeland) because you believe in Allâh your Lord! If you have come forth to strive in My Cause and to seek My Good Pleasure, (then take not these disbelievers and polytheists, as your friends). You show friendship to them in secret, while I am All-Aware of what you conceal and what you reveal. And whosoever of you (Muslims) does that, then indeed he has gone (far) astray, from the Straight Path[]. (1) Should they gain the upper hand over you, they would behave to you as enemies, and stretch forth their hands and their tongues against you with evil, and they desire that you should disbelieve. (2) Neither your relatives nor your children will benefit you on the Day of Resurrection (against Allâh). He will judge between you. And Allâh is the All-Seer of what you do. (3) Indeed there has been an excellent example for you in Ibrâhim (Abraham) and those with him, when they said to their people: “Verily, we are free from you and whatever you worship besides Allâh, we have rejected you, and there has started between us and you, hostility and hatred for ever, until you believe in Allâh Alone,” except the saying of Ibrâhim (Abraham) to his father: “Verily, I will ask forgiveness (from Allâh) for you, but I have no power to do anything for you before Allâh[] .” Our Lord! In You (Alone) we put our trust, and to You (Alone) we turn in repentance, and to You (Alone) is (our) final Return, (4) “Our Lord! Make us not a trial for the disbelievers, and forgive us, Our Lord! Verily, You, only You are the All-Mighty, the All-Wise.” (5) Certainly, there has been in them an excellent example for you to follow — for those who look forward to (the Meeting with) Allâh and the Last Day. And whosoever turns away, then verily, Allâh is Rich (Free of all needs), Worthy of all Praise. (6) Perhaps Allâh will make friendship between you and those whom you hold as enemies. And Allâh has power (over all things), and Allâh is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (7) Allâh does not forbid you to deal justly and kindly with those who fought not against you on account of religion nor drove you out of your homes. Verily, Allâh loves those who deal with equity. (8)”.

And Allah knows best

Shaykha Aysha Wazwaz


Tafseer Alquran Class

Quran Exegesis

Every Wed. 5:30-7:30

Woman of all ages including teens

We started from Surah Alfatiha, and we keep going inshaa Allah we will finish the Quran.

Place: New Brighton

Fee: $50/ Month…unless you cannot afford it…just join.

Spirituality slides

Hadith Study Group


Hadith Study Group

In this study group, we learn a hadith or two every class from the 42 Nawawi hadiths. We take the hadiths meanings, and how it relates to our life. Then we memorize the whole hadith after talking about the narrator of the hadith.

When: every Friday 5:30-8:15p.m

Who: Children different ages

Where: New Brighton, MN, 55112

Instructor: Aysha Wazwaz

Fee: $50/ Month

To review the hadiths that have been taken in level I click here, to review the hadith taken in level II click here

To download the book 

To download the book in Arabic click here

Vocation in Islam


Vocation in Islam power point slides click on the picture or hyper link to download slides.

Learn Arabic ONLINE


السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Don’t let your children waste thier time on video games. Let them do something they will benefit from in thier life and hereafter. Click here to see a webpage that will help children and adults learn Arabic in a fun way.


Asalam alykum
These are the slides presented at Normandale Community College in Bloomington, Nov.  24th, 2010

The Ideal Muslimah Lecture

From here, you may download The Ideal Muslimah power point slides.

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